Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Writing sex/love scenes

Lordie, it's hard (no pun intended)....

Among the difficulties:

1.  Describing body parts (porno-sounding vs. romance-novelly vs. medical vs. boring vs. slang)

2. Details of the act (just a little vs. nothing vs. implied vs graphic vs. flowery)

3. Emotions/internal thoughts (OMG vs. pure lust vs. none vs. mocking vs. analytical)

Just saying, it's not so easy.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Writing's A Bitch But I'm Doing It Anyway

I thought writing my novel was tough.  That was before I started this blog.  Now I'm being ripped apart, trying to keep on track with my revisions so I can send my manuscript out before I drop dead, while I'm trying to keep on top of the blog.  Well, like the title of this post says, it's a bitch.

I think many bloggers are people looking for something - new business, more money, sex, friends, attention, a catharsis...Others just want to share their insights and experiences.  As for me, I think I'm split about 30/70, maybe 20/80, but I'm not really sure at this point.  I've been at it all night (again) and feeling a little like the Yankees lineup facing Cliff Lee at the game on Monday night -- knowing I have an uphill battle with the book and the blog, and wondering why I'm bothering (although unlike the Yankees, I don't have a huge salary to keep me going when/if I blow it-- I wish I did).

In the divorce blog world, there are a hell of a lot of divorce info blogs written by legal and mental health professionals  for marketing/solicitation purposes.  And a lot of agenda-driven blogs written by newly-single men and women who've gotten through some nasty times.  And probably the biggest group of divorce-related blog is the memoir-type blog -- some of them share far more personal information about the blogger's sex and social life than I ever want to know.

Some of these blogs make great reading.  I've linked a few that I think are excellent to my site.

I thought it might be kinda neat to write a blog about the people- including lawyers - behind divorce and custody cases. About the stresses they face and how they handle it.  Some of the problems that arise before and after people break up. Relationships between men and women. How lawyers think and behave.  The way the media portrays breakups and lawyers.

My goal has been to write about all this stuff in a fun, non-lawyerly way, but still through eyes of an experienced lawyer.  No, like I said in my very first post,  I'm not writing this blog to get any law or divorce-related business AT ALL; no solicitations, no agendas, no soul-searching. No touchy-feely stuff, either (not really my style).

I also thought the blog would be a nice companion to Client Relations, which that has similar themes and has, as its main backdrop, a raging custody battle between a ripped-as-hell celebrity chef and his workaholic physician wife. Seemed like a good way to regroup my energies, get some feedback, share my progress, have an additional creative outlet, have a little fun ("Gee, this could be fun! "- I love the Extenz commercials!).

And it is fun.  But it's also a bitch because it's yanking me in so many directions.  And I'm doing it anyway.  Guess I'm still driven, despite everything...

Wait a second--- Does this post count as 'soul-searching'?

Friday, October 15, 2010

Crazy Divorce Lawyer Ads Gone Viral

Get rid of that vermin you call a spouse - wreck his New Year's!  Yeah!

Even AOL's jumped on these:


I guess these guys are technically 'colleagues' -- OUCH!

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Lawyers in the Facebook Movie

Saw the Facebook movie (The Social Network) on Monday.  Excellent acting all around.

But ...the lines some of the lawyers had?  Like the examining attorney at the deposition who asks the defendant/witness if he thinks the examining attorney isn't worth his attention.  DUH!  What FACT did he hope to elicit from such a dumb question (eliciting facts is, of course, the purpose of depositions).  What point was he trying to make, that the defendant was arrogant  and hostile (again, not the purpose of a deposition). And what plaintiff's lawyer (in an intellectual property suit, no less) would be stupid enough to ask the defendant that question in the first place?  Answer: a screenwriter trying too hard to score dramatic points.

And how about the second-year associate who's ALREADY an 'expert' in jury selection -  WTF?  More likely she'd be an expert on which take-out is open at 11 pm while she's still plowing through discovery responses, or on which partner is most likely to hunt her down at 4 pm on a Friday afternoon for a research project due on Sunday night.  And not at all probable she'd tell a high roller like Mark Zuckerberg (FB founder) - who was probably paying her employer law firm millions for his defense - that he was trying to be an asshole.

AARRGGGHHH!!!!!!!!!  I shouldn't make myself so nuts when 'The Good Wife' hasn't even begun its next season next  - another mecca for great actors and bogus legal lives and lines... Entertaining? Yes.  Reasonably accurate?  Well, ummmm...... :

That's show biz.

(Allison Leotta's blog, The Prime-Time Crime Review (linked here: http://allisonleotta.com/blog/) does a great job of rating the accuracy of SVU).

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Why Women Still Lag

This is a post well worth sharing here- I haven't seen the issues that hinder women's success so well stated in a long long time. I think Jacki Zahner's analysis also applies to women in all the professions.

Purse Pundit: The Lack of Women in Finance - A RANT!!!!!!

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Thriving, Years after the Custody Battle

Being a lawyer is often frustrating, almost always stressful. And divorce law?  Yikes. I didn't get this Quasimodo look from looking at The Rule Against Perpetuities (something dreadful we studied in law school) for all these years.

But every once in a while, something wonderful happens.  More than finding a case exactly on point, more than constructing a great argument or winning a motion.  Even better than getting a great, and I mean seriously GREAT, result in a case.

No, what I'm talking about is finding out over ten years later (!!) that the people you helped are not just doing okay, but actually thriving.  

I've been feeling pretty happy for the past two days, after running into the siblings of some kids (now young adults) whose lives were dramatically changed for the better after I got an award switching the primary custodial parent over to my client back in the 90's.  The kids had been an absolute mess (socially, educationally, emotionally, you name it) before the change in custody.  And during the case, I know everyone - parents, kids, lawyers - was going through hell.  After the custody order was issued, I knew the kids were a lot better, but still, you never know about those long-term effects....

So now I've discovered they're launching successful careers of their own - way to go, you guys! - with loving family support behind them.  

Yes, custody battles are horrific experiences. But sometimes, after the war is over, the changes made in the children's lives - and they're the ones who really matter, a hell of a lot more than the parental egos of the clients - can be so positive and wonderful that, in the end, it was worth it.

Condoms in the Car

The ultimate test of self-restraint, courtesy of Mr. Bolch across the Pond:

Monday, October 4, 2010

The Truth About Crime Shows

In search of what Stephen Colbert calls it  "truthiness,"  I found a wonderful new blog written by a Federal prosecutor and novelist (who is about to get her first book published) that analyzes the truthiness of  SVU (Special Victims Unit).  I'll link you to it while I finish setting up my new computer.  (It took me a week of buying, setting up and and returning two others before settling on another VAIO despite the lousy power connections - hence my week of silence online...)  I'll be back in a day or so...

Here it is :